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by MC Smitherman

This just in, the “book publisher” CamCat Books has recently been found out to be a front for the British secret intelligence agency, MI7 (even more secret than MI6 which, frankly, wasn’t that secret in the first place). This deceit was uncovered when NASA scientists received a request for diplomatic aid from God-King Grizzmus Ursur of the Ursiphageon Dynasty. It seems that undercover agents from the CamCat branch of MI7 have been making political and economic moves to sabotage the “rightful” rule of God-Kin Grizzmus Ursur of the Ursiphageon Dynasty in order to supplant him with an earth bear to ensure the moon bears began living in ways complimentary to earth-based interests that would reportedly free the moon bears from Ursur’s tyranny. 

High Priestess Thibetania Urdensorous was reportedly a key instigator of this coup attempt as she believes, along with the followers of Terramajorus, a radical cult of moon bears siding with immigrating earth bears, that God-King Grizzmus Ursur of the Ursiphageon Dynasty is a pretender to the throne. She provided key intel about Ursur’s rose-honey dependency that has since scandalized the God-King of the moon bears. Rumors have also spread that the earth film, Cocaine Bear was based off the numerous rampages God-King Grizzmus Ursur of the Ursiphageon Dynasty took against his own people in rose-honey fueled mayhem. According to Terramajorus doctrine, the true heir to the lunar throne is a small yellow bear of unknown origin who can be recognized by his penchant for red shirts, disdain for pants, and love of “hunny” (the food, not necessarily the band).

Even more, it seems that secret communications, the movements of political war machines, and specifics on MI7’s economic interests are hidden and detailed in manuscripts they published under the CamCat moniker. We have listed the manuscripts in question below, but be warned, in our trial runs, consuming their contents have come with a multitude of side effects such as: shortness of breath due to uncontrollable outbursts of riotous laughter, inflamed knees from reflexive knee-slapping, sore abdomens as a result of consistent giggles, and crows feet due to long stretches of smiling. Read the books below at your own risk, and MI7 thanks you for your sacrifice in their continued attempts to depose God-King Grizzmus Ursur of the Ursiphageon Dynasty and free the moon bears from his tyranny.

Space Holes: First Transmission

Saving an alien planet is nothing compared to meeting your sales quota.

Marcus Aimond, untrained tag-along aboard humanity's first intergalactic exploratory commerce vessel, has a singular mission: sell off-brand misprinted merchandise.

When the rookie and his crew encounter the Nerelkor, a frog-like civilization, he is thrust head-first into an alien civil war. The opposing factions, Rejault and Dinasc, are stuck in an ill-fated feud driven by deep-rooted ineptitude. To avoid the planet’s total annihilation and establish a local sales office, Aimond and the crew must survive arena combat, reshape the very structure of the planet, establish world peace, and stay alive—for the sake of positive branding, of course.

Citizen Orlov

Not every fishmonger can be a secret agent.

Journey to an unnamed mountainous country in central Europe at the end of the Great War. Enter Citizen Orlov, a simple fishmonger and an honest, upright citizen, who answers a phone call meant for a secret agent and stumbles into a hidden world of espionage and secrecy. Recruited by the Ministry of Security, he is sent on assignment to safeguard the king.

But Orlov soon discovers that his ministry handler, the alluring femme fatale Agent Zelle, is planning not to protect the king but to assassinate him. Caught in a web of plot and counterplot, confusing loyalties, and explosive betrayals, Orlov finds himself on trial for murder. Given the opportunity to clear his name, he finds that the lives of his friends, mother, and fellow citizens hang in the balance.

King Me

The King is Dead, and the Game is Afoot. 

The hit TV show, The Lands Beyond, has become a cultural phenomenon, influencing fashion and baby name trends. Its creator, R. R. Reynard, masterminds the story each season, pitting the cast against each other in a toxic, kill or be killed, environment. But Reynard has even greater ambitions.

He’s formed a feudalistic society of superfans who are willing to do anything to rise in the ranks and be officially canonized as a character on The Lands Beyond. With the show set to enter its final season, the cast, crew, and superfans attend a convention at the historic Chateau D’Loire. While holding court, Reynard is murdered, and the notebook holding all the secrets, twists, and endings disappears.

Enter Ken Allen, former D-list actor turned private eye.

As the body count rises, Ken discovers the stakes are far greater than just a television show. And the fantasy neophyte is about to learn that all is fair in love and war in The Lands Beyond.

If it wasn’t clear, this was our April Fools’ addition to our Books to Live In blog series, so thank you for coming back and checking out our recommendations for books to give you a laugh this April Fools’ Day! If you’re looking to hear more about the latest from CamCat, subscribe to our Fiction Newsletter and be the first to experience all the excellent tales we’re weaving together.

And just to be very clear, CamCat is in no way affiliated with the destabilization of the moon bear colony.

Happy April Fools’ Day!